And there we were in Haiti…It sounds like a punch line doesn’t it? When a variation of that is said by someone from our team, it’s usually followed by laughter because only God could put that team together and take us to one of the poorest communities in the world to not only love and take potential solutions but to be loved on and taught so much about sincere community and acceptance. The title of this piece is the best way to describe my soul right now. There’s still processing to be done and so much praying but regardless, just know that grateful is an understatement and God continues to blow my mind.
Personally, I never wanted to be a missionary but God had other plans in mind. A few years ago, He stirred something up in me that shook me to my core. I didn’t know that the gifts God put inside of me from a young age were for the purpose of sharing His word and encouraging people around the world. So I jumped in and decided to go for it only to be broken hearted when He had me stay in the states. It was as if God asked me, “If you’re willing to go for me, are you willing to stay for me?” Part of me wanted to answer with, “Well yes but…” God doesn’t ask for our excuses. He asks for our hearts and with our hearts comes obedience. It was over the course of the next few years that God confirmed my current job has been the mission field in which I was to serve. Not many people in my position would risk asking employees if they could pray with them, let alone do it. That’s only by the grace of God that this has been remotely possible and accepted.
Many now know that I was asked to join a team of women going to Haiti about a week before the trip and things became official FOUR DAYS before the trip. There was money to raise quickly BUT GOD had it all figured out and provided in no time. There was work to take off from and we’re currently short staffed, BUT GOD gave my boss a peace about that and I was able to leave the office. There were prayers to be prayed and medications to get BUT GOD poured out lavishly through His people and sent our team to serve in that beautiful community that now holds my heart. We were able to learn about their processes and also educate them on feminine health and hygiene during their cycles. We got to see their strengths as a community and culture and pray over their dreams and visions. We were blessed to pray over them and their homes and learn about their hearts…and we were changed. Doing activities with the kids, laughing uncontrollably at times, and seeing God in the midst of the sweaty days were icing on the cake.
How do I feel and what have I processed so far? For visual effect, imagine a snow globe with lots of glitter inside just swirling around and bringing joy to all those around. In a way, it represents stirring one’s affections for Jesus and causes all those around to move towards Him as well. Proverbs 19:21 tells us, “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” I don’t know about you but I’m so thankful for that truth! Had I gone to Italy, I wouldn’t have been ready. I thought I was but there was a lot God was doing…still is actually. There are a lot of incredible opportunities and blessings that would have been missed out on. Even ALL THE WEDDINGS I’ve lamented about were such fun and brought joy and friendships that were unexpected.
With heartbreak comes sacrifice but it’s in that sacrifice we truly see who God is and that we can trust Him in all things. Romans 8:28 tells us that things work out for the good of those who love God. It doesn’t say they turn out like we plan but I promise you, they ultimately glorify Him and that brings us joy. It’s not necessarily easy or pretty but it’s worth it. Seasons come and go and the waiting sometimes seems like it’s going to be a lifetime but I’m almost in tears from sincere excitement over all that is ahead. Do I have any idea what God is doing? No, but I know there’s continued refining and preparation in the soaking. The “New Wine” He has been making is something bold, flavorful, and bubbly…duh. I’m thankful that understanding isn’t a requirement as He makes us vessels for His word and life. We GET to be the church. We GET to share the goodness of the Father with the nations. We GET to do that in our workplaces. So let’s do it.