Getting Healthy = Happier Life

For years I have struggled with self image and weight. I’ve gone back and forth, up and down. Food can have a hold on a person and it’s terrifying how much power it tends to have in moments of strength, let alone weakness. We use it as a means of coping, celebrating, decompressing, and just passing the time away . For me, it has become a confidant of sorts that is essentially just a sneaky bastard out to destroy me. I’ve used it as a way to passively rebel against those who wanted to help me the most. Sounds silly, doesn’t it? But, the goal here is to be transparent and for people to know they’re not alone in their battles.

Months ago something finally clicked and I’d been seeing a photographer post about her local gym and personal trainer mixed with a new found confidence she was finding in herself. I wanted that in my life. I was fed up with sitting on the sidelines and being the self labeled fat friend in my friend groups. I’ve said before that I know I was made for more than I all too often settle for. So I reached out to Fit Life for a free session. What did I have to lose? This is usually the craziest time of the year for me at work so between that and not wanting to commit (I’m 34 and single, OF COURSE I HAVE COMMITMENT ISSUES!!!) I met with Gage and knew this was something I wanted to try. Next thing I knew, I signed up and paid for 10 personal training sessions. My first session he showed me basics of stretches, foam rolling, and general overviews. Who knew just foam rolling would make you sore?! From there, he has walked me through workouts to make sure my form is correct and he’s also held me accountable when I have over done it (pride for a former athlete never dies) and has pushed me when I needed it.

Mixed with working out, I signed up for a meal prep service called Fit+ Meals because abs are made in the kitchen and I’m tired of having just one ab. This program essentially does allllll the meal prep you’re wanting/needing for the week and has a wide variety to choose from. Plus, the cost has been incredible. Umm yes, please. During the time of year when I’m most likely to binge eat or pick at my face, I survived Open Enrollment and didn’t do either of those things! While to some it may not seem crucial but this is a BIG DEAL to me! Sure, I’m in bed by 8 most nights and awake by 4:30 most mornings but it’s been worth it. I’ve been making time for me and that’s something I hadn’t done in a long time. Quite frankly I feel better than I have in years and I’m saving time in my life because I’m not having to prep meals for the week or make decisions on the fly. There are meals when I’m not counting macros but I’m also more aware of not overindulging.

I’m two and a half months in and have lost AT LEAST 6 inches (that was from the first month). Clothes are getting more and more loose fitting and I’m about to buy my first belt in years. While it’s common for people to look in the mirror at the gym to watch their form and such, I just don’t enjoy it. However, this morning I did it in one of my rounds and really was liking what I saw. A woman becoming more confident in who she is and the way she’s taking control of her choices to make a better life for herself and for her future. I’m here to change the world by encouraging others and can’t do that effectively when I’m not actually living my best life, right?

What’s worked for me might not be the flow you need but it never hurts to check it out. If you’ve been on the fence about getting plugged into a gym or fitness program, now is the best time because the holidays are fast approaching. Seeing results has been the key to keep me motivated and I don’t want to change it or lose momentum! Why wait until January to do what you’re wanting to do for yourself or your family now? Gage is doing a Black Friday Special offering FIVE FREE training sessions to new members who sign up. Y’all, FIVE! That’s insane and WORTH IT. Go to https://fitlifetrainingchatt.com/ to reach out to him and talk about your goals and he will help design a program that will help you reach those.

As for the food choices, those go hand in hand with the fitness. Go to https://www.fitplusmeals.com/ and you can even use the promo code: fitlife to save some $$ on it actually. They are so great to work with and this week I’m even doing a different program where they designed my meals to fit my macros. I’m pretty stoked about it.

In closing, yes, I’m all about offering free publicity to these guys because they’ve had a huge impact in positive changes in my life but what’s really great is all this hard work and determination had to come from the choice within. I’ve found a community of really great people from both of the links listed and even from that, God has opened doors to pray over some people along the way. Here’s to the next few months and seeing progress while encouraging others. but also to challenging each of you to find your “why” and pushing you to go for it!

Go Be Love.

I started writing this at 7:04 AM on Thursday, August 1, 2019 while sitting in the waiting room for open heart surgery patients as the staff at Piedmont Hospital prepared mom for her aortic valve replacement. It was a standard procedure that is done all the time but this time it was mom. She is not just a standard patient. Lots of life happened since then so it’s finally getting finished up today. :)

Choking back tears was harder than anticipated because of statements like, “They’ve made the chest incision.” Let’s not forget, “She’s on bypass now.” I’ve thought before that waiting was hard but I’ve not felt something like this. Knowing that one of my best friends was on an operating table with her life in the hands of surgeons was terrifying. What was comforting and the only thing that even remotely kept me calm and composed was knowing that mom’s heart was actually in God’s hands. During those moments, I had the opportunity to talk to strangers..I know, shocking. There was a man and his stepdaughter there who were waiting on his wife (her mom) to get out of a similar procedure and I was fortunate to have the chance to pray with the daughter that day. I don't say that to brag but to say that God uses any chance to be honored and it's incredible how He does it. She allowed me to "be love" in that moment by hugging her and praying over her family.

Mom made it through the surgery like a champ and was even worried about others as she woke up in recovery. That woman is constantly thinking about others. When my nieces, Maddie and Ella, went back to ICU, she was asking about their summer school prep since school was set to begin the next week. She was also giving us orders to get rest. Still kinda bossy and we wouldn’t have her any other way.

From even before surgery began, our family was continuously blown away by our community of family and friends that showed up to pray over, wait with, check in, and love on mom (and the rest of us yahoos). I won’t even try to list each person because I’d fail miserably. The entire time I was overwhelmed by the texts, visits, meals, hugs, and just the reminders that we weren’t in that experience alone. My heart broke for some of the people at that hospital because their loved ones were waiting alone. No one should ever go through that without a community. Whether it’s family or friends, we all need each other. People around us from near and far were “being love” to us and I am forever grateful.

It’s hard to be vulnerable and to let people know when we struggle because we don’t want them to feel like they have to do something. Did you ever stop to think that you might be robbing them of the opportunity to bless you by bringing you a meal or coming to sit with you? It might sound silly but I’ve seen mom do what she loves by cooking for most of Whitfield County and surrounding areas. It blesses her to bless others. Yet she didn’t want to put others out by them bringing food. I get it because I’m a lot like her in some ways. We all are because we don’t want to inconvenience others but in the end, we are all in this together. All this to say, I want to challenge you to go and be a blessing to someone this week but to also allow someone to be a blessing to you as well. There’s joy on both sides of that. Whether it’s sitting with someone who has a family member in open heart surgery or sending a note of encouragement, go be love.

Back To Business

Welcome to the new and improved site! Life has been a bit chaotic the last year and I’ve taken a hiatus from writing. I’ve missed it and missed YOU! That said, take a look around and let me know what you think. The goal is to have it look more like me while encouraging others where they are.

Over the last year and a half I have been to Haiti twice, been professionally promoted twice, and have been busting my tail to make the most of wherever God has me. I’m back to writing because I’ve missed the outlet but I also know that God gave me a gift and I want to use it. So here’s where we get to form a partnership. My goal is to publish a new piece on Wednesdays for a bit to see where things go. Wednesday Words will be for random discussions, encouragements, or laughter. There are multiple places on the site for you to subscribe so I’d be honored if you’d like to join me in this revamped adventure! If there’s ever something you’d like written about, I’m all ears. Let’s do this and get back to the business of encouraging!

(Not) Everything Happens For A Reason (October 2018)

Maybe this is a rant but I get so fed up with the commonly used phrase, “everything happens for a reason.” Yes, God knows all that is going to happen and yes, He definitely uses it.  I just think that sometimes it’s said because people want to comfort those going through loss. They don’t know what to say and feel like they should say something. Anything. At times we hit panic mode and our mouths run faster than our thought process. I’ll be the first to admit my mouth and not thinking get me in plenty of trouble.

Other times it’s out of selfishness. Yep, I said it. It’s said out of wanting to bathe our selfish or stupid choices in Jesus. Christians over spiritualize so many things and I’m just tired. It’s getting harder and harder to have intentional conversations with people while holding back eye rolling when that's said.

When we don't get a job, sometimes it's out of protection and sometimes we just aren't qualified. When a relationship doesn't pan out like we had anticipated or planned, we say it happens for a reason.  I don't think that's always the case because people get hurt in those situations.  Drugs, pre-marital sex, abuse, lies, and the list goes on.  What this boils down to is that not all that happens was meant to. It is definitely used to bring God glory and us joy but pawning off our selfishness in relationships and life is a cop out.

So as we seek what God has for us and has gifted us to do, let us wait in anticipation and gratitude. The time of waiting is used to prepare, refine, and restore. It doesn’t mean you are sitting still. Don’t bathe selfishness in Jesus. Too many people are wasting time using “everything happens for a reason” as an excuse. Own up to stupidity and move forward in prayer and obedience.

No Time For Shame (August 2018)

Heard a song yesterday on my way to Tallapoosa from Heflin (yes, those are real places) and it was perfect for that drive and for life in general.  The title is, "No Time For Shame" and that's the declaration of it.  There's no time to be filled with shame because we weren't created to live that way.  We were created to bring God glory and if we are ashamed of our lives, how can we draw people in?  How could we possibly point them to Him and the grace He pours out?  That's right, we can't.

This weekend I was visiting some friends that live near where I'm from.  Now, by no means am I ashamed of where I'm from.  I'm glad to be where I am but I love where I'm from.  Just as someone from my old church said years back, "it's always going to be home."  For far too long I saw that place as a place of shame because of decisions I had made and quite honestly thought they'd define me forever.  Like the song says, "I don't have time for shame.  I was made for more.  I just gotta believe what you're saying about me."  Y'all, we have pressing matters at hand.  If you're a Christian, you are called to live life to the fullest and point others to the Creator, the only one who knows all and loves us best.  That's is a BIG DEAL!  If we are constantly dwelling on the past or things we regret, we're unable to truly love others with all we have and we can't even remotely move forward in freedom.

What are you ashamed of?  If you haven't had anyone tell you that it's going to be alright, allow me to do the honor...it really is going to be okay.  What you've done or had done to you doesn't have to define you.  You and I were made for so much more than what we all too often are willing to settle for.  It's a daily (sometimes moment by moment) choice to believe the truth of the Bible.  Ephesians 2:10 says, "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."  By walking in obedience, we find sincere joy and as we strive to honor God with our whole selves, I firmly believe joy is stirred up within us.  We don't have time to live in shame because our days our numbered here.  We get to live in freedom and joy when we are in Christ.  What are you waiting for?  Let's keep moving forward.

Father's Day (June 2018)

Personally, I've been blessed more than I deserve to have had my father an active part of my life.  On that note, you can thank him for the warped sense of humor that some love and others might loathe.  Dad has been a wonderful example of God's love for His children (so has mom but this piece is about fathers).  He's shown forgiveness when it wasn't owed, unconditional love when put to the test, and patience like you wouldn't believe.  Granted, to this day I still thank Tammy for being born ten years before me because he's made it clear he didn't have the patience for my sass in his younger years.  Our family isn't perfect but it's one I'm forever thankful for and I know I can trust God first hand because of seeing His hand in my life but also by seeing an example of Him in my dad.

That said, over the years I've seen the pain this day can bring and for those that grieve on Father's Day or don't feel like it can be celebrated.  I wrote on Father’s Day last year actually and while this one is similar, it's still different.  Plus, it's my blog and I can do what I want.  :)  I just don't this weekend to go by with people feeling left in the cold or forgotten.

I am so sorry for the pain that you feel.  It's not fair and I believe it's okay to say that.  Many things in the life aren't fair and this is one of the ones that brings my heart so much sadness.  There are dads that leave their families in neglect or because they're making poor choices and choose (or have) to leave due to consequences of their actions.  Then there are some who have passed away in years past, which makes it painful to feel robbed of these celebrations while the rest of the world seemingly goes on.  Others, have been hurt by their earthly fathers in any variety of ways and I am so sorry.  None of these voids can be filled on this side of eternity and while I know that's not the cheery spin I typically try to bring to pieces, it's the way it is.  I've seen and walked friends through losing fathers (& other family members) so maybe that's why I'm so aware of it and grieved while celebrating dad and Eric

If you haven't had a healthy (or any) relationship with your dad or if you haven't seen him due to death, I hope you know you are loved.  I'm not trying to Jesus juke you by saying that your heavenly Father loves you and that should make it all better and take away any sadness, but I do want to remind you of that fact.  He loves you.  He chooses you.  He delights in you.  You are thought of and prayed for around and on Father's Day.

Community. Tribe. Circle. Church. (March 2018)

Whatever you call your group (or groups), imagine what your life would be like without them.  If you think you'd function just fine, it might be time to re-evaluate where you are and the people you're doing life with.  While some people are supposed to come and go from our lives, there are some that are foundational parts with whom we go to battle for and with.  I don't want to go through life alone because quite frankly, we weren't created to.  No, I don't mean in the just regards to marriage because that's another topic for another day.  Community is a way we get to live with others and have each other's backs as we go through each day and season. I need people who will go to battle with and for me and they need me to do the same. I tell my friends I'll cut someone for them...and much to no one's surprise, I mean it.

I consider myself extremely blessed to have various groups of friends that I have been able to go through the good, bad, ugly, and crazy with over the last several years.  In my opinion, they are most certainly gifts from God.  Those times consist of corporate worship within a church building or even a small group that stems from said corporate worship.  When I'm not at my church on Sundays, I miss it.  No, not the building but the people within.  Sunday morning hugs from those sweet gentlemen and women who have faithfully prayed for me and poured into my life over the years just never cease to amaze me with how precious they are.  Those don't happen overnight.  Yes, some people are natural huggers and love people well but these relationships go both ways.  They stem from both parties taking time to love on the other and invest in checking on the other throughout the various seasons of life.  There have been times when friends had to make sure I was out of the bed and doing something because the depression fog around me was filled with lies from Satan and that was all I could hear or see.  They were carrying me to Jesus.  Then, there have been occasions when I was part of a group that reached out to encourage a friend who needed to be reminded that her value was in Christ.  Not her husband or children, even though that was where her station of life had her doing so much service and loving, but in Jesus.

On the flip side of this, there are people that will call me out when I'm not walking with God.  If they see me trying to justify sin or not seeing potentially harmful situations, they speak up because they love Jesus and me.  If you're a Christian, you're supposed to have accountability in your life.  Not to make you feel like less of a person but to help you get closer to Jesus.  Proverbs 27:17 says, "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another."  Y'all, we can't just let that stuff pass.  Does that mean we are this hall monitor acting like Screech from Saved By The Bell?  No.  It means that we are loving our friends and family enough to not let them fall away from what they know to be true.  Philippians 4:8 tells us, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."  This isn't to prevent us from having fun or joy but it's to bring us joy in the community God wants us to have.  God sent Jesus to die in our place (and rise again after 3 days - HOLLA) because He loved us too much to leave us where we were.  Who are we to not love each other like He loves us?  Let's step up and love better, church! When we believe in people as they're living out the calling of God in their lives, that sets a fire that ignites and carries over to others and before we know it, the joy of the Lord is bursting from our homes and into our workplaces!

If you're a parent, don't you love the sound of your children playing and laughter together?  Just pretend for a minute that they're not plotting against you or a sibling and enjoying the community they're in.  That's a gift.  Really good bosses feel the same way when they hear hard working employees laugh together because they know they're getting along and enjoying where they are. Are there hard spots in the road along the way? Yep, absolutely! But it's in those spots we get to be refined in the image of Jesus. To see if He's showing us something through truth and love or a way to clear up communication with those around us.

Communication is difficult because what we mean when we speak isn't necessarily what people hear or understand. Ephesians 4:15 - 16 tells us, "“Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.” So instead of getting offended by our brothers and sisters trying to tell us the truth in love, let's pray about it before we snap. How we respond is on us, not them. Now, does that give people authority to speak at each other and degradingly? Nope.

This isn't something anyone on this side of Heaven perfects but be encouraged to know as your community, church, tribe, or whatever is there to go through life WITH you. That means you GET to serve, too. The beauty of that is as we get filled, we GET to pour into the lives of others. Ask your church leaders how to get plugged in. If you don't have one & live in Northwest Georgia Chattanooga, let me know. We'd love for you to join us at Church On The Hill in Dalton. 1035 Abutment Road, Dalton, GA 30721. Service on Sunday is at 10:30 AM.

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Fear. The Other Four Letter F Word (March 2018)

Kid you not, months back I was having a discussion with my parents regarding struggles I have.  Food, fellas, and finances were the first three that came to mind in various ways.  I jokingly said, "Ha!  Oh the F words..."   But let's not forget fear.  I told Bea Lyons once, "Fear is just another F word that's not near as fun to say."  I don't know about you, but I'm tired of allowing fear to define me.  Fear of failing at something has crippled me more than most would believe.  It's the people pleaser part of my personality.  A lot of people think that while I say a lot of what comes to mind I don't care what others think but that's incorrect.  I, like most people, have cared and struggled with the opinions of others.  That shouldn't be what directs my steps though.  Neither should fear.

Why do we allow fear to be this foul word that rules over us like a tyrant ruling his/her people as a horrible leader not allowing any joy?  Fear is crippling.  It slides in as this little voice whispering things that seem a little like truth but they're far from it.  "You won't ever be able to overcome this obstacle because this is just who you are."  "You've gotten yourself too far into this hole to ever get out or let anyone know because they'd be appalled and ashamed.  God won't use you due to all that you've continued to do or not do."  WRONG (I really hope that you're hearing a giant buzzer right now.  One from a game show at that.)!  Fear is a liar and we were made for more than what we all too often are willing to settle for.  Is it easy to battle?  No, but it's worth it.  A pastor friend of mine recently said something along the lines of, "We aren't fighting for victory because it's already been won (PRAISE GOD).  We are fighting FROM victory."  Think of just how freeing that is.  Freedom, now THAT is a beautiful F word.  Faith is another.  Because of God's faithfulness through Holy Spirit, grace, goodness, pursuit, and etc...we can replace those dreadful things that have plagued our lives and vocabularies (believe me, I'm working on mine more than you know) with joy, faith, sincere rest, and the grace of God.

A life that is surrendered to God and His will is a life worth living.  It's easy to type but it's hard to live at times because that means being willing to walk a path we don't pick for ourselves.  Seeing others get to live out some of the dreams we hoped for but knowing and trusting that God will align our heart to his make it worth it.  He is good and will not hurt us.  He's the one that has the unfailing love and never ending grace we yearn for as we walk these rugged trails for the glimpses of a starry night we've only read about or the perfect view of peace we imagined from stories told to us as a child.

My verse for the year is Psalm 46:5, "God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns."  Whew.  To be reminded that as roots are going deeper while I wait on Him is refreshing.  His preparation is part of the journey and his protection isn't something to be feared...even though at times the wait is frustrating.

All this to say, here's to replacing fear with faith, worry with obedience, and the lies with truth.

No Waiting Is Ever Wasted (November 2017)

Does anyone enjoy waiting?  There's angst, anticipation, fear, frustration, and even anger at times.  We live in a microwave society where pretty much everything is at our fingertips.  So the moment we are forced to wait on something, there's a battle that rages internally, if not externally as well.  Our flesh longs for the instant gratification.  Personally, I don't wait well.  I've said before, even in front of the church (oops), that waiting sucks.  When we long for something with every part of our being, and feel as though we are forgotten when it seems to never happen or go away, we think that we've done something wrong or maybe we've missed a mark along the way.

Just as there are two sides to every story, there are also two sides to waiting.  In addition to the negatives above, there is also excitement, giddiness,  joy, and time of preparation.  Joy?  Yep!  Once I finish throwing a tantrum (or several), I'm reminded of the fact that there are freedoms in the waiting that aren't usually there when we get to the end result we have been longing for.  Things aren't always greener on the other side and that goal we've been aiming for won't complete us.  Seasons constantly change and if we wait with this attitude of misery, things will never get better.  The pain we go through is able to be used to encourage others when they go through similar things!  Y'all, nothing we have done falls under the category of being unredeemable by Christ.  I recently mentioned consequences to our actions and yes, those are real and sometimes excruciating BUT it doesn't have to be only painful.

There's an older Carrie Underwood song that talks about bridges being burned but also lessons learned.  Each moment in our lives can be used to encourage, love, push, motivate, inspire, and so much more.  Or they can define us as lonely, broken, lousy, failures if we let them. Sometimes the second set of options are easier but they're not worth the sacrifice of joy!  We get the choice of how we look at and approach and respond to situations.

It's no secret that I want to get married and (probably) have kids someday.  I'm not sure why I've gone through wedding after wedding of dear friends and snuggled their babies while wondering if that will ever be me.  Now before you think of how sad that sounds, know that I'm thankful because of the freedom I've had and the protection of God when it comes to settling. This continuous season of waiting has been a time of preparation. It's been hard at times but SO MUCH FUN at others!  This time is for me to continue preparing for God's calling on my life and to trust Him.  There have been doors opened for ways to love on people I never would have met and opportunities to encourage them in their waiting or struggles because why??  We weren't meant to do this life alone. We get to walk through this crazy chaos with people who can relate.  

Waiting is painful but it's never wasted. 

Keep moving forward.