Forgotten

We are surrounded by people that either are or feel forgotten. They’ve lost the love of their life after years of committed love and intentionality. People surrounded them for weeks and then lives had to continue on and those that had been pouring into them and making sure they were making it day by day had to get back into their routines of normalcy. There are people that have longed for companionship in seasons of chaos or loneliness but their friends had to get back to being there for their spouses and/or children. Friends can’t be “on loan” forever. There are commitments they have and responsibilities that require their attention and rightfully so. Why am I saying this? To remind us all that people need to be loved on even when life seems to be “normal” again. What might feel normal for us isn’t normal for the widow who is figuring out what this new way of life is supposed to be like. Check on them this next week.

I think as I’ve gotten older and the longer I’ve been single I’ve been able to see things from the perspective of a person that feels forgotten at times. No, I’m not saying that I’m a poor and pitiful woman that should be tended to. I am saying there are seasons that are painfully barren and sad because I just want to be held by a cute man that will tell me it’s going to be okay while reminding me that while I’m freaking hilarious I’m equally pretty. Anyway….I say that to try and explain why I’m telling you to love people differently.

When we see people along the way that have experienced loss (we all have at some point in time) I think it’s our job and joy to remind them that they are seen and still have purpose. The person they provided care for may have recently passed away and they’re grieving that loss while also trying to figure out what the hell they’re supposed to do now when all of their days were consumed by caring for their loved one. What about the person that was constantly on call for a job that was suddenly ended for one reason or another? As humans there is a validation that comes from being needed and wanted. What happens when that need and/or want is suddenly stopped or ripped away? I’ll give you an example. Over the years I have been the funny friend that is somewhat like a mama bear to her friends. Now that most of them are married, I have had to step back and accept the fact that being there for them wasn’t my sole purpose. My purpose is to love others well and to hopefully point them to Jesus. Was I able to encourage them along the way to keep moving forward and to pray over them during times of joy, sadness, and uncertainty? Yes and it was fanfreakintastic! But I got to walk alongside them kinda like an escort to the people that are entrusted with protecting and encouraging them to the next seasons of life. Do I miss the fun times? Of course, but I also have the exciting joy of getting to encourage and be there for other friends in seasons of life now. I know that’s nothing compared to the changes in life of grieving a spouse but I will say it has brought a perspective of making sure people know they’re seen in the midst of all seasons.

Here’s what I want to challenge you to do this week. Get the phone number or address of someone you know has experienced loss or is still waiting on a promise from The Lord to be fulfilled and send them a card, flowers, or text. Call them and pray over them or just tell them you love them and that while you may not be able to truly bring peace, comfort of understanding, they’re seen.

Just freakin love them where they are and remind them they aren’t forgotten and they aren’t alone. Remind others they aren’t forgotten. I truly believe that in the process you’ll be reminded that you aren’t either.